Certain routines are established as soon as we bring our newborns home. We change them, feed them and rock them to sleep often in a certain order. We bathe them, cuddle them and make them feel safe. They grow up so fast!
After they start school, the evening and morning routines that create good habits of organization and being on time for school get carried into adulthood. As well as, being unorganized and late can be carried into adulthood. (Please see my other blogs regarding teaching responsibility and organization skills.)
The importance of developing bedtime routines is to make your child feel safe and secure before going to bed at night. Lots of hugs and kisses, being tucked in and knowing they are loved all help them feel better about bedtime. It's important regardless of age that there are routines established. No matter how old they are a hug at night is reassuring.
Rules, customs and routines let your children know that you are paying attention and that you care about what they are doing and who they are becoming. There are studies that prove that sitting down to dinner five days a week as a family reduces the chance of children getting into serious trouble. But this dinner opportunity can't be wasted with family members texting, reading or on their phones at the table. Make the effort of communicating with each other for the 20 minutes it takes to eat a meal. (For more suggestions regarding mealtime, see my blog "The Importance of Family Dinner Time".)
Weekend trips to the park, Sundays in church, walks in the evening, walking the dog daily, fixing dinner together, trips to the library, playing a card game or board game one night a week, an art project weekly, watching sports, or any other activities done as a family on a regular basis count as rituals that help us become who we are as adults. Activities do not have to include all the family members to make them special or memorable. They do not need to be very time consuming either. It's the regularity that makes them important. If other commitments keep certain family members from joining in, they can establish other activities when time allows. Please make the effort, it will all have meaning when your children are grown ups.
My many conversations with children as they matured helped me draw these conclusions. First, the kids missed having these simple type of evenings, they felt overbooked with activities, sports and homework. Secondly, they felt that once one ritual began to break down that the rest followed. It gave them a sense of loneliness and isolation. A few kids had spoken up about family dinner time being important to them but their feelings were ignored and everyone took their plates in a different direction in the house. We need to stay connected with each other and keep the lines of communication open.
Older children might grumble about bed at a certain time, having a set dinner hour, being told to take a bath or shower, but these rules make them feel safe, cared for and they know you are paying attention. Many parents often make the mistake of thinking that once their child is in high school that they need you less, but in reality they still want you to take notice. You need to know who they are spending time with and trust needs to be established.
Rituals and routines give your children a sense of security. Simple things like sitting down to dinner together, curling up to watch a favorite show or kids doing homework at the kitchen table while dinner is being prepared, build a sense of family and belonging. It establishes a vital connection. Kids remember these times as important parts of their lives that make them who they are as adults.
Rituals and routines give your children a sense of security. Simple things like sitting down to dinner together, curling up to watch a favorite show or kids doing homework at the kitchen table while dinner is being prepared, build a sense of family and belonging. It establishes a vital connection. Kids remember these times as important parts of their lives that make them who they are as adults.
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